I Didn’t Know A Christmas Tree Could Fly

This is a short anecdote from a book of stories I am writing called “I was a Mason Jar of Peas.” It is a fictional account of my experiences as a minister in training with The Salvation Army over 25 years ago. Enjoy this anecdote from God’s heart and mine as our gift towards your wellness journey. I think with remembering 911 and the terrible tragedy in Boston, all of us need to use laughter to heal our fear and deep inner pain.


One of those really funny times was when the Home Supervisor at The Brookfield Bible College in Aberdeen, Scotland, decided to put me on the chore of using an industrial floor polisher to clean the nursery room floor. My name is Kevin Macpherson. I was a student at this four year Bible college. I was no more than 120 pounds. Bob, poor fellow, was supervising me. He had shown me how to use the floor polisher. He left me alone to use it. What was he thinking?

 I turned on the floor polisher as Bob had instructed me so well. With timidity but a whole-hearted determination to do this chore well, I started going back and forth with the floor polisher. Everything was going quite smoothly for a while. It looked like this was going to be a chore I completed so well, that I might even get a slight smile from the Home Supervisor on a job well done. Well, a fella can dream, can’t he?

Yes, this was a most delightful chore. I was picturing the deep satisfaction and appreciation Bob would express to me upon completing the task extremely well. What fantasy world was I living in?

Suddenly, the floor polisher took on a life of its own. I chased after it, but it kept going after me. I tried to unplug it, but it just kept attacking me!

Then, in spite of my best efforts, it decided to show me it could make the Christmas tree fly. And what a flight it was! I had never seen a Christmas tree fly before. The tree flew through the air with its decorations flying in all directions.

I thought to myself, “I think I’m in a lot of trouble. A heck of a lot of trouble. What will Bob say? How will I explain to him what happened? What will the Home Supervisor say?”

Meanwhile, the floor polisher traveled to another part of the nursery. It kept turning around and around and around again until it burned a hole in the floor.

My heart was racing. I knew that this whole experience would not end well. My stomach churned inside, thinking how I could explain to Bob and the Home Supervisor what had happened.

I had tried desperately to turn off the floor polisher, but it just kept going after me.

Bob returned from having cleaned another part of the nursery. A look of shock crossed his face as he saw the Christmas tree laying on the nursery room floor.

The floor polisher was still going after me. Bob went around it, and turned it off.

Bob tried his level best to keep from being furious with me. Many people would have yelled at me, but he didn’t.

I said to Bob very tentatively, “Is there anything else I can do to help?”

Bob responded keeping his anger under control, “No, Kevin. You’ve done quite enough already. Just go back to your dorm room, please!”

Well, I did try to do a good job. Really, I did, but I don’t think I’ll ever put on my resume that I can use a floor polisher.

About osborne2029

I enjoy spending time with people just having a coffee or talking about life, philosophy, religion, politics or sharing a favorite joke or story. We learn from one another as we interact and share our joys, challenges and even our times of sadness. I enjoy reading, writing, singing and sharing in the blessing of community whether that is one on one or in groups. I'm married and am powned by two kitties named Sir William of Lounge a.k.a. Sir Lounge a Lot and Princess Catherine of Chaos a.k.a. Her Royal Highness Catherine of Englehart. I m in an M.A.-Ph.D program with St. James the Elder Theological Seminary to train to become a psychotherapist and priest. Let us pray for and reach out to each other with kindness, love and an embracing compassion. We can working together be servants with two open hands to those in need so that hate, indifference and inequality would lose and love will win. The peace and abounding joy of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Posted on September 11, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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