I didn’t know a Christmas tree could fly!

This fictional story is based upon my experiences as a ministry student over 28 years ago. I hope it gives you a good hearty laugh to ease the stress associated with the Christmas season.

Christmas tree with angel

One of those really funny times was when the Business Manager at The Brookfield Bible College in Aberdeen, Scotland, decided to put me on the chore of using an industrial floor polisher to clean the nursery room floor. My name is Kevin Macpherson. I was a student at this four year Bible college. I was no more than 120 pounds. Bob, poor fellow, was supervising me. He had shown me how to use the floor polisher. He left me alone to use it. What was he thinking?

ย I turned on the floor polisher as Bob had instructed me so well. With timidity but a whole-hearted determination to do this chore well, I started going back and forth with the floor polisher. Everything was going quite smoothly for a while. It looked like this was going to be a chore I completed so well, that I might even get a slight smile from the Business Manager on a job well done. Well, a fella can dream, can’t he?

Yes, this was a most delightful chore. I was picturing the deep satisfaction and appreciation Bob would express to me upon completing the task extremely well. What fantasy world was I living in?

Suddenly, the floor polisher took on a life of its own. I chased after it, but it kept going after me. I tried to unplug it, but it just kept attacking me!

Then, in spite of my best efforts, it decided to show me it could make the Christmas tree fly. And what a flight it was! I had never seen a Christmas tree fly before. The tree flew through the air with its decorations flying in all directions.

I thought to myself, “I think I’m in a lot of trouble. A heck of a lot of trouble. What will Bob say? How will I explain to him what happened? What will the Business Manager say?”

Meanwhile, the floor polisher traveled to another part of the nursery. It kept turning around and around and around again until it burned a hole in the floor.

My heart was racing. I knew that this whole experience would not end well. My stomach churned inside, thinking how I could explain to Bob and the Business Manager what had happened.

I had tried desperately to turn off the floor polisher, but it just kept going after me.

Bob returned from having cleaned another part of the nursery. A look of shock crossed his face as he saw the Christmas tree laying on the nursery room floor.

The floor polisher was still going after me. Bob went around it, and turned it off.

Bob tried his level best to keep from being furious with me. Many people would have yelled at me, but he didn’t.

I said to Bob very tentatively, “Is there anything else I can do to help?”

Bob responded keeping his anger under control, “No, Kevin. You’ve done quite enough already. Just go back to your dorm room, please!”

Well, I did try to do a good job. Really, I did, but I don’t think I’ll ever put on my resume that I can use a floor polisher.



About osborne2029

I enjoy spending time with people just having a coffee or talking about life, philosophy, religion, politics or sharing a favorite joke or story. We learn from one another as we interact and share our joys, challenges and even our times of sadness. I enjoy reading, writing, singing and sharing in the blessing of community whether that is one on one or in groups. I'm married and am powned by two kitties named Sir William of Lounge a.k.a. Sir Lounge a Lot and Princess Catherine of Chaos a.k.a. Her Royal Highness Catherine of Englehart. I m in an M.A.-Ph.D program with St. James the Elder Theological Seminary to train to become a psychotherapist and priest. Let us pray for and reach out to each other with kindness, love and an embracing compassion. We can working together be servants with two open hands to those in need so that hate, indifference and inequality would lose and love will win. The peace and abounding joy of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Posted on December 11, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Kevin, glad to know I am not alone in floor polishers chasing me!!! I laughed and I cried. I enjoyed your story greatly. Good thing we are forgiven!!!!

  2. Yes, indeed,it is a good thing that we’re forgiven!

    Yeh, leftnfree, you gotta watch out for those floor pollishers! Let’s see. I can see it now. The start of a movie script “Attack of the Killer Floor Polishers!” starring leftnfree and Kevin Osborne.

    Yes, floor polishers everywhere attack those who use them. Dr. Vladimir Charkovsky of Stravinsky University creates floor polishers that go after their users when they least expect it. Coming to a theatre near you. Will it ever be safe to use floor polishers again? Will the world survive “Attack of the Killer Floor Polishers?”

    Well, you must pay $10.50 for adults and our half off price of $5.50 for children. The majority of proceeds will go to the World Relief Fund for the Victims of Killer Floor Polishers.

    On a serious note I hope to write many short anecdotes based on my early ministry experiences. They will be able to be read in three to five minutes.

    I figure it would be ideal for busy people, who want humourous anecdotes that can be read quickly. I think it would help bring much-needed respites of joy into people’s lives.

    I’m so glad my story brought laughter into your life.

    Whenever I tell the story I find I can’t even get through it before people can’t control their laughter any longer.

    I’ll give you an inside scoop. In my early student ministry days I was not the most adept at doing chores. Some people honestly thought i was just trying to get out of doing the chore. I wasn’.t. I just found these tasks harder to do likely because of an undiagnosed progressive ataxia, that affects my ability to do hands on tasks like using nasty floor polishers.

    The college supervisor put on my evaluation. “Kevin works really hard at his chores, but he requires prodding.”

    The poor fellow startled me when I was using a mop and a bucket to clean the single men’s hallway where the dorm rooms were. I accidentally put my foot in the bucket and knocked it over.The water with a chemical cleaner for the carpet went all over the new dress shoes of our college building supervisor.

    I said, “I’m so sorry.You surpised me. I hope I didn’t wreck your shoes.”

    He was speechless. He looked at me, then his wet shoes, then back at me again, sighed, and walked away.

    He never came up to me by surprise after that day.

    I have so many hilarious stories about that time in my life.

    I’ll share some more as they come to me.

    Have a light-filled and joy-filled week!


  3. Enjoyed the story. I had an experience with a run-away polisher and this was a great description of how it feels. Thanks for following my blog and I am following you as well.

  4. Hi Kevin,

    What a great story! Thanks for giving me my laugh for the day. ๐Ÿ™‚


    • Hi Nancy

      I am now following your blog. So,what was Ken’s turquoise wrist wrap for? I agree with your comments on social media. I always put personal notes with my invitations, noting something I read in the person’s profile. I too am an open networker and with hard work I am thankful to have 1,636 contacts all around the world. I find reading about people’s lives fascinating. Reading their life stories fuels my creativity as a writer. The wonderful things about having all of these contacts is that I get to learn about multiple cultures free! As they tell me about themselves and we share our lives with one another, I find they teach me, and help me to grow as a person and as a writer.

      I would be honoured if you would acept me as a connection. I’ll leave that up to you. Perhaps,as you read my profile, you would want to connect with me.

      I want to make my blog more appealing to my readers. I really like the journalism easy to read layout of your blog. Did you have to pay to get your blog the way it is? I find that while the layout of my pieces are easy to read, I’d like to spice it up and have things like an about me feature.

      When you get some time if you could look at my blog at http://www.osborne2029.wordpress.com and offer your comments,i’d really appreciate it.

      Have a great week!


  5. Hi Kevin,

    First things first, the lovely turquoise wrist strap was an anti-static thingie (that’s the technical term – lol). Supposedly individual computer parts are VERY sensitive to static electricity and will basically self-destruct if exposed to it. (at least that’s what Mr. Ken tells me.)

    As for my blog, thank you for the kind words. I am using a free theme from wordpress.com, called Inuit. You can customize the side bar colors I believe.

    I would love to connect with you. I assume your email/name is posted somewhere so I can send an invite to you.

    I look forward to our continuing conversations.


  6. Hi again Kevin,

    Did you mean connect via WordPress? Or would you like to connect on the other social media platforms, e.g. LinkedIn or Facebook? If that is what you mean, feel free to contact me via my blog contact page with your contact info (rather than publicly posting it here.)


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