Missed Communication

missed communication
I kinda expect that the first week of January will be flooded with posts regarding new year experiences, resolutions, and attitudes on facing 2014.
I didn’t really feel like writing but as I checked on my blog I saw a pattern on my co-authors posts. They wrote about love, peace, healing, strength, bearing fruit, and being dried up. Please read previous posts within January to see the pattern that I talk about.
Having read those posts by my co-authors compels me to evaluate my attitude towards 2014 and let go of my bitterness towards 2013.
With all honesty, I was not happy when 2013 ends.
When Typhoon Haiyan ruined our home at Visayas, my mother, together with my siblings has to move here in Negros and live temporarily in our relative’s house, where I used to live. It was my opportunity to see them for I haven’t seen them for years.
Instead of grabbing that opportunity to see them I chose not to show up because of my situation at work. My boss is not giving me enough salary so I am only receiving little and I would send that money to my mother.
I feel like being tortured by my situation. I don’t want to demand so much of my boss since I know he’s also having trouble with his finances. The reason why I don’t want to show up in my family is because I don’t know how to explain to them why I’m not earning in my job.
There were plenty of times I was tempted to quit my job and find a new one that pays right and pays on time. More than wanting to quit my job there is a part of me that don’t want to quit on my boss. I took the job even it won’t pay me well because my boss was my mission.
That was how I started working for him. I worked for him because I was concerned about him and his family. He used to be our churchmate but he stopped going to church and I was really worried about him.
Let me go back to why I was not happy.
After reading my co-authors’ posts I realized that not seeing my family was not really the reason why I was not happy.
I was not happy because I was not being fruitful. That’s how I feel today. I feel like I’m not bearing much fruit. In fact I feel so dry. I’ve been worried and unpeaceful to the point that I forgot to trust God. There were moments I wanted to question Him why this is happening to me. There were also moments that I wanted to compare my situation to Job and moments when I encouraged myself to stay strong and believe that something good comes when you endure.
Unfortunately all of those moments were wasted.
It has become about me and no longer about God’s power and glory.
Now I ask myself, what if I prayed during those moments. What if I called on God and learned to depend and trust in Him.
All along I assume that I’m doing my mission. All those times I was just assuming I’ve given up myself for the sake of others.
I was wrong.
I wasn’t doing my mission. I ceased to pray for my boss and his family. I even ceased to say my daily prayers to God. I’ve forgotten what I was commanded, and the worst is I have forgotten to report to the one who has commanded.

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About Marmar Dagu-ob

Will graduate life with honor and no regret.

Posted on January 4, 2014, in Facing the new year and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.

  1. It’s never to late to pray. God asks your honestly; He meets you where you are. Think of David’s psalms. He talked to God about his anger, grief, disappointment, frustrations and fears, and God said David was a man after His own heart. You have not abandoned God, only confessed to being human. He is standing before you with open arms, ready to hug you, take your hand and walk with you again.

  2. Cheer up my friend; the first step to over-coming our problems is identifying them, which you have done here. The most important part of your recovery as already begun. You’ve seen a great insight!

    Solomon said: ‘There is nothing of value under the sun, but to eat drink and be merry!’ So be merry and, it will come back: ‘your writing skills’

    You are like: ‘The Prodigals Son.’ It may even be an appropriate post :O)

  3. The wonderful thing is God’s mercies are new every morning. Today is a new day to come to Him in prayer and rely on Him to meet your needs. No shame, just come to Him and He will be pleased to hear you and answer your plea. Blessings to you in 2014! I pray your job pay will increase and God will reveal His plans to you daily!

  4. every one’s resolution to lose weight so mines will be … to be fat!

  5. Your post really touched my heart. You see, I do not think you are the only one feeling like this. I believe there are many out there who share this experience with you in their own way. I would like to pray for you now. Father, I thank you for this author. I thank you for his willingness to share. Father, I do believe he is showing more fruit than he even realizes, and I ask you now to reveal to him the fruit that has come from his service to you. Yes, we all get discouraged at times and feel we could/should be doing more; but sometimes, it’s not about doing more, so much as being still and knowing that you are LORD! Father, I ask you to embrace him now, allow him to feel your loving arms hugging him. I ask you to re-ignite his spark, and allow your favor to ever rest upon him. I ask you to bless his boss and his, and the family of this author. Just as you made yourself know to Pharaoh, make yourself known to them through him. Thank you for the blessings you have already provided to him, and thank you for the blessings yet to come. In Jesus name, amen.

  6. Marmar, God hears, sees and knows all. He knows your heart. He knows your life. We are all sinners saved by grace. Grace — the unmerited favour of God. We don’t deserve His love, but He gives it freely and without reserve. We all get it wrong. We all mess up. We all are in need of forgiveness.

    Could it be that you are being harder on yourself than God wants you to be? Keep in mind that we also have an Enemy, who whispers thoughts of discouragement into us.

    I’ve been giving a lot of thought and prayer to your situation. All you are feeling is completely understandable. I think many of us would tell you that many would have been devastated by all you, your family and the people of the Philippines have gone through. Yet, you continue on. You are still fighting, still believing. That my dear friend is a testament to your character and the light of Christ that shines from you. It is a message to all of us as all of the people of the Philippines teach us about having an enduring hope and optimism. Sure. You all were shocked by what happened. I saw a Filipino man on the TV news cry, begging for help. He was being open and honest about his pain.

    God will bless you for your honesty about how you are struggling. You’ve got a loving heart. Just get back on God’s path as He has revealed that to you.

    We will join hands in prayer for you, your family, church and all of the people of the Philippines.

    Per ardua est astra – The motto of the U.S. Air Force, meaning through difficulties to the stars. The stars of God’s potential for all of us.

    The peace and comfort of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you, your family, church and all of the people of the Philippines.

    Kevin

  7. Marmar, don’t beat yourself up over opportunities that you thought you missed. The fact that you realized you were leaving out God proves it wasn’t a wasted moment. This is a journey in which we will mess up and we will feel all those emotions you mentioned and more, but do not loose heart. You now have more wisdom than you did at the start of this trial. I pray that the Lord blesses you with more wisdom on the job situation. You believe that your boss is your mission, but He was God’s mission first. He could have used you to plant seeds, but is it up to God to water them and grow them. Perhaps, and please pray over this, but maybe the season for you to move on and leave this man in God’s hands is upon you. Only you and God know that, though. You are in m prayers, brother. It isn’t easy walking this path, but I pray God restores your joy and peace.

  8. The path may be stony, but you can make it through Him who straightens all paths and strengthens His children. Lean on Him.

  9. Hi Marmar,
    Thanks for visiting my blog!
    Congrats to your team for doing this blog as a team! I think it’s great!

    I thought your post was rather authentic. I’ve been pondering the concept of mission lately. There is a series on spies that I love to watch. This week I was struck by the thought that they risk their lives every day, do things I wouldn’t like to do, they have a soldier mindset to what they do. They love their country and will protect it at any cost. I’ve had a week of complaining-at-mass-proportions myself. I was reminded of Paul in the book of Philipians, especially 3:10 ‘I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself’. Must admit, that doesn’t sound like me – but it’s because I have a tourist mindset in life and not a soldier mindset.

    Just blessing you today with the knowledge that God loves you as an individual a whole lot, that you are at the right place right now, that He is teaching you fruitfulness in a dry place and that more fruitfulness is yet to come!

    Keep up the good work!

  10. Marmar, I am so sorry for the loss of your home at Visayas and your job experience. It must feel horrible to be in a situation like that. But the most important thing for you to keep in mind, is to never lose hope and let God guide you. I know this may sound cliché but everything happens for a reason. If you are unhappy about your job and find yourself struggling to maintain your family, you deserve to look for a new job that you love and that pays well. It might take awhile to find, but it will give you the opportunity to start becoming happy again- which is what matters the most. I’m sure your boss will understand what you are going through.You can even work for him aside from your new job.

    I also happened to come in contact with one of your co-authors, Kevin. I read his post, “Hope for a Brighter Tomorrow” on his blog and felt at peace to listen to a heart-touching song with a powerful message and a nice prayer to seal my night.

    When Kevin saw my comment that I left on his post, it gave him joy to hear from a teenager and recommended me to talk to you about considering to become a co-author for Mind’s Seat.

    I believe this would be a great opportunity for me mostly because the thought of inspiring others is the best feeling for me to have and it will help me become a strong writer.

    Feel free to check out my blog to read what I have to say about inspiration and positivity.

    I really hope you are able to come in contact with me and I wish you the best of luck with the situation you have to deal with.

    Mayra

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