Daily Archives: January 25, 2014
Posted by osborne2029
Dear readers: There was a time I offered tutoring help to my stepson, Joe, when he was in high school. Karen presented the offer to Joe. He said, “No way, Mom! Kevin’s too intense!” He’s right.
I know I have presented you with some tough topics to deal with ranging from abuse to poverty. Thank you for listening to what I say on these important issues.
I need to give both you and me a much-needed respite from this degree of intensity.
If we accept the belief that Christ, in addition to being divine, was human, it becomes easy to picture Him cracking a few jokes with His disciples. They would have had to have something to lighten the continuous strain of preaching the gospel.
You will see in the Bible if you look at it as literature that Jesus loved using the literary devices of comparison, contrast, metaphor and hyperbole. He gave exaggerated examples from things relevant to the culture to get his points across.
For example, in the synoptic gospels Christ spoke using the images of a needle, camel and rich man concerning how difficult it is to get into Heaven (Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25). In Luke 18:25 Jesus said, “A camel could squeeze through the eye of a needle more easily than a rich man could get into the kingdom of God”( J.B. Phillips New Testament). There is speculation that the needle being referred to may have been a surgeon’s needle, since Luke was a physician of that time.The fact is that Christ is referring to a needle that would never be large enough for a camel to go through. Now, if such a thing was possible maybe the camel could even be taught how to sew:)
Jesus used hyperbole at other times, referring to a “plank” in one’s eye (Matthew 7:3-5) and swallowing a camel (Matthew 23:24). The main point in all of these scriptures is that no amount of kind deeds gets any one of us into Heaven.
I always laugh when I read these scriptures. Picture for a moment how impossible it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. Our saviour did have His unique way of getting His listeners to understand Him.
What would any of us do if we didn’t have the gift of humour? Humour provides us much-needed stress relief. There is so much horrifying and sickening news everywhere. We all need a break. We need the gift of laughter. We need also to be able to laugh at ourselves.
Look out for future hilarious stories of my time as a minister in training as I engage in the ongoing side-splitting adventures of Kevin Macpherson at the Brookfield Bible College in Aberdeen, Scotland. Stories I’m working on are Marching 101, Our Flag is Upside Down, Elvis Lives Again and Dishwaher Mayhem.
Today, I’m presenting an anecdote that comes from Sermoncentral.com. Imagine what it would be like if God had voice mail.
If God had Voice Mail
Most of us have now learned to live with “voice mail” as a necessary
part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would be
like if God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, Press 1.
For Spanish, press 2.
For all other languages, press 0.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests.
Press 2 for Thanksgiving.
Press 3 for Complaints.
Press 4 for all other inquiries.
I am sorry; all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us, and we will answer
it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2
Holy Spirit, press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding,
To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5,then
enter his or her social security number, followed by the “pound” sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and try again.
For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N, followed by the
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth,
life on other planets, and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive.
Our computers show that you have already prayed today. Please hang up
and try again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again on Monday after 9:30am.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance,please
contact your local pastor.
Thank you, and have a heavenly day.
Posted in thoughts
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