Blessings in the Forgiveness

freedom-of-forgiveness

I have had people who have been mean to me

There are times forgiveness for them has been awfully hard to see

But I had to learn by holding on to the past of my abuse

verbally, emotionally, physically, to no one could I be of use

I had to let go of hate

Let love in

That’s the thing that gives true peace within

It’s tough to forgive those who have hurt you

To release all of that pain

It will take time to forgive

That a renewed hope for life in your heart would live

I pray that you would see hate will only leave you imprisoned

Caught

Bound

Trapped

It took me decades to begin forgiving my father for abusing my mother, brother, two sisters and me

I was filled with sadness

Times were rare when I would have true gladness

I had to see through the lies that I was weak, and always would be a failure

Counsellors, family, friends and colleagues helped me see I am not the lies I was told

Guided me in singing a new song of

Freedom

Beauty

Love

Joy

There were times I screamed at God, “When I was abused why weren’t You there?

If You didn’t stop it, then You don’t care!”

When I became a Christian at 19 as I prayed at the altar I felt God say to me,
“Kevin, in every blow, in every slap, in all the terrible things your father and others said about you, do you really think I wasn’t there?

I felt every tear you cried

I was angry at how you were rejected by your father

I was there all the nights as a child and adult you have been afraid to sleep

Terrified your father would come into your room, smother you with a pillow

I was with you when you prayed at five under that willow tree

Pleaded with Me from your father’s abuse you and your family would be set free

I know this is hard for you to see now

I can’t change the way others act towards you

When I created you and all humanity,

I gave you the ability to choose how you would behave

Look at all they did to my one and only Son

He was

Rejected

Hated

Abandoned by his followers

Persecuted

Ridiculed

Beaten

Crucified

Don’t you think that tore away at me?

How I allowed Him to die

How he asked Me on Calvary’s cross,

“Eloi, Eloi, sabachtani?”

Meaning, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”
In his humanity He asked the same question you’re asking Me now

“Father, when I needed You most, You where nowhere to be found

Alone, abandoned You left me!”
“Kevin, this truth I hope you will come to believe

I didn’t want you to be abused

But some day you will see how loving and gentle a man of God you are

Why?

Because of all I allowed you to go through

That for others you would be truly there

For others you would mean it when you say, “I care.

I will be here as long as you need me,

so from your abuse, from whatever issue you have,

you would be set free.”

Kevin and Karen Osborne are Christian pastoral counsellors and psychotherapists. Kevin is studying to become a psychologist and professor of Psychology. He feels called to also be a chaplain. We have started You Can Hope Again Counselling. Karen enjoys doing cross-stitch while I like writing and singing songs. Karen makes me laugh when she sings the kitty bed-time song saying, “It’s that time. It’s the bestest kitty time of the day!” Kevin enjoys teasing the kitties and making them do kitty dances with music. Their kitty, Catherine, loves it when kitty daddeh sings All Things Bright and BeautifulKevin likes doing impressions.  He tells children’s stories and helps others with their problems using his hand puppet, Dr. Teddy, who is a therapy bear.  He is a partner with us in our counselling practice.We are available to assist with worship and preaching to give busy pastors and ministers a much-needed break. Please visit our counselling website, where you will also find our blogs. We offer in-office, and phone counselling to anyone in the world.

http://www.youcanhopeagaincounselling.com/

 

Advertisements

About osborne2029

I enjoy spending time with people just having a coffee or talking about life, philosophy, religion, politics or sharing a favorite joke or story. We learn from one another as we interact and share our joys, challenges and even our times of sadness. I enjoy reading, writing, singing and sharing in the blessing of community whether that is one on one or in groups. I'm married and am powned by two kitties named Sir William of Lounge a.k.a. Sir Lounge a Lot and Princess Catherine of Chaos a.k.a. Her Royal Highness Catherine of Englehart. I m in an M.A.-Ph.D program with St. James the Elder Theological Seminary to train to become a psychotherapist and priest. Let us pray for and reach out to each other with kindness, love and an embracing compassion. We can working together be servants with two open hands to those in need so that hate, indifference and inequality would lose and love will win. The peace and abounding joy of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Posted on September 11, 2016, in Rethinking and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Kevin, this speaks to me as I’m reminded of an experience in the past. I realized that it’s not just other people we need to forgive; we also need to forgive ourselves.

    You’re right, it is difficult to forgive others especially when they have caused us great pain and when we hold them accountable for our soul-shattering downfall. Nevertheless, we have to learn to forgive and forget because not doing so holds us back in our efforts to advance through life.

    But denying ourselves of forgiveness can also be as devastating as failing to forgive others.

    I used to blame myself for the things I have not done and for the things I have done wrong. My self-loathing was so strong that I have contemplated taking my life numerous times. But each time I tried to do it, my conscience told me that I was to waste a gift that I was not even entitled to claim.

    How many of us are going through our lives as prisoners of the past? We have to set ourselves free and forgiveness is a great way to start.

    • Jayson, thanks for taking time to share these thoughts from the heart of one who has known great suffering, and is being used by your Lord in the inner healing journey of others. There is great wisdom in your writing, that in my spirit I feel can only come from God’s guiding hand in your life.

      Jayson, have you thought of taking all of your life insights and turning them into a book? I believe many people would read it. I would be one of them.

      Keep shining Christ’s light in you to those who live in darkness, who have yet not learned the healing power of forgiveness. Yes, we need to forgive ourselves. Too many people are carrying this terrible weight of judgment God never put there. There are many who listen to their voices of abuse chastising them for being such a failure and a loser.

      Share God’s love with them as you are doing now. Pray for them without ceasing. Love on them to defeat the inner hate and rage, which is slowly but surely destroying them.

      My dear brother, that is the calling we share in together.

      Shalom,

      Kevin

Share your thoughts on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: