How do you see yourself?
What do you think of yourself?
Is your spirit covered with dust like a book left on a shelf?
You find yourself listening to those disparaging voices of your past and present that say.
“What makes you think you can be more than you are?
You won’t go far.
Who do you think you are?”
I have fought those voices.
Those who know my story are aware I was abused by my schizophrenic father, Jim, at age five.
It took me many years to heal, and move on.
Perhaps, this is the road you are on.
You can’t see how you can ever be any better than you are.
You’re letting your dreams slowly die.
The love of God has passed you by.
You want to laugh, but all you can do is cry.
They may not be tears others can see.
You keep them hidden so others can’t hear or see your scars.
You want to feel God’s sweet caress.
You long for peace, but can’t feel it.
You plead God for it, but the peace you seek doesn’t come.
The enemy of your soul says it will always be this way.
You’ll always be a failure.
You’ll never become the person God wants you to be.
You feel trapped in sin.
Darkness deludes you into thinking there’s no way out.
This is the prison you’ll always be in.
You’ll never know the peace of God within.
In times like these call out to God and say.
“Lord, You know me. I’m far from okay.
I want to feel Your love breathe its life into me.
I see no freedom from the pain.
I don’t know how to get out of this dungeon I’m in.
Come into my heart today.
I want to see the Light; I’m tired of seemingly never-ending nights.”
If you say that or any thoughts even if unspoken, I can testify that God will hear you.
He will reach inside to all the hurting places if you let Him.
Six years after my prayer under the willow tree by our home, God rescued my family and me.
He set us free from the abuse.
That time felt like it wouldn’t come for an eternity, but it did.
If our Father loved me enough to do this for my family and me,
think of what God could do for you if you just let a little bit of His love in.
I pray that you do.
As we come closer to Christmas this is the truth I pray you’ll see.
God thinks you’re special.
Because He loved you so much He sent His one and only Son die for your sin.
Avail yourself of its cleansing power not next year or years later.
Do it now.
Do it now.
No matter what you’ve done you too can see Heaven’s Son.
A new life in you can begin.
Don’t let the enemy think this could never be.
He is the chief of liars, you see.
This isn’t the story many like to hear.
They prefer stories full of joy – filled with cheer.
But Christmas is much more than that.
It’s about taking the time to think about your life.
Where are you at?
Who do you want to be?
Let yourself receive the present of God’s love for you.
Once you receive it, give it away.
If you do that, your struggles may not go away, but you’ll have eyes to see, like the child that was me.
You’ll feel more in your spirit that the Christ who died for you, believes you can be more than you are.
If you ever doubt that, look at the stars at night.
Think about that bright light that led the wise men from country far,
to behold that shining star.
Let that Light flood in.
Let all the hate go.
Know that God loves you so.
Let the love of God through your spirit flow.
Let the child in you come alive, alive, and make angels in the snow.
Dr. Kevin Osborne is Dean of Psychology and President of Student Affairs for St. James the Elder University. Before anything else he is a sinner saved by grace. He lives in Timmins, northern Ontario, Canada, with his wife, Karen. They are powned by their 20-year-old kitty, Her Royal Furriness, Princess Katherine of Timmins. In their leisure time they enjoy the company of friends. They like reading, writing, and cooking. Kevin can make a scrumptious Spam casserole. Don’t knock it ’til you try it. It has broccoli, shredded cheese and fried onions. Yum. yum. A tasty economical meal for those on a budget. No, it’s not the healthiest of dishes, It’s a comfort meal you might want to try during the holiday season.
Posted on December 11, 2022, in Poetry and tagged abuse, christmas, gift, life goals, loving others, perceptions, salvation, trauma. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.
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