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Ode to a Microwave

broken microwave

The other day our microwave went kaput.

I felt like kicking it with my foot.

When I heard a snapping sound as I tried to open the door,

it fought back at me and gave me what for.


It was holding my hot chicken noodle soup captive.

Let’s just say I got over-reactive.

I got so angry at it swear words I did say.

I was determined for holding my lunch hostage,

it would dearly pay.


I said to the microwave, “I’ll get back at you.

You just wait and see what I do!”

Knowing the microwave was toast,

a knife from the cutting block I did get,

and after about an hour I finally

got my chicken noodle soup free.

I said to this taunting microwave,

“Hee! Hee! Hee!”


I was exhausted from fighting with the microwave.

I knew to explain all that happened to my wife Karen,

my energy I would need to save.

I slept the rest of the afternoon.

When I woke up Karen was there.

She must have seen the fatigue in my face,

because she looked concerned as she looked at me and said,

“Darling, what kind of day did you have?”


I told her about my noble battle with the microwave.

I knew she would empathize with me.

She recalled years ago when we thought our microwave was history.

But when we thought it was gone,

no lights, no power in it did we see,

we thought that’s the end of our microwave.

We’ll have to get another one,

the microwave, it came back on.

We looked at the cost of a new one from other stores,

but thought their prices were way too high.

We decided from Kijiji a microwave we would buy.


We got a name-brand one from Kijiji

because the price was right.

In fact, to use an expression from the 1970s, “It was out of sight!”


We’ll always miss our old microwave.

Like a good friend, you get used to it.

But like all the tough times we have in life,

when people hurt us by the things without thinking they say,

I believe God brings people to help us through our inner pain.

They are there with us as our inner strength we regain.

They are those caring people our Father brings our way,

so through our hurt, we can see hope for our brighter day.

Kevin and Karen Osborne are psychotherapists and pastoral counselors. Kevin is going to be a chaplain. He also feels called to be a professor of Psychology specializing in Pastoral Theology. Karen is the Director of a women’s abuse shelter. She enjoys doing cross-stitch while I like writing and singing songs. Karen makes me laugh when she sings the kitty bed-time song saying, “It’s that time. It’s the bestest kitty time of the day!” Kevin enjoys teasing the kitties and making them do kitty dances with music. Their kitty, Catherine, loves it when kitty daddeh sings All Things Bright and Beautiful. Kevin likes doing impressions. He tells children’s stories and helps others with their problems using his hand puppets, Dr. Teddy, who is a therapy teddy bear, and Mike the Moose from Matheson. This is a small town in northern Ontario, Canada, an hour’s drive south of the city of Timmins. Dr. Teddy and Mike the Moose from Matheson are consultants with us in our counselling practice.We are available to assist with worship and preaching to give busy ministers a much-needed break. We offer in-office, and phone counselling to anyone in the world.