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I will testify to Love

As I watched this episode of Touched by an Angel my spirit felt that there are people who need its message of God’s comfort in time of loss. I pray that after you finish reading this post that you will feel the love of the Father embrace you.

It is three days before Christmas 1992. My Mom is near death from her second heart attack in the hospital. It feels like yesterday as  I remember her being taken away on a stretcher, her ashen face as it goes past me and into the ambulance. My stepfather says he can’t wake her up. He calls out to her in the apartment. “June. June! June!!” He leaps from his chair and shakes her. No response. He shakes her again. No response. Dad calls 911. I am there as Dad frantically performs CPR. No breath. No signs of life.

The paramedics arrive. I see them use the paddles on her chest from their defribillator. Dad sees my terror as mom’s body shakes from the force of the electrical current going through her body. He doesn’t want me to see the horrific scene any longer. Dad says, “Kevin, please go out in the hallway. I don’t want you seeing any more of this.”  It takes the paramedics several minutes to get mom’s heart started again. Those minutes seem like an eternity.

I go with Dad to the hospital.  Thoughts go racing through my mind. Oh God, this can’t be happening! There are so many more things I want to say to you, mom. I love you. I don’t want you to leave me. Not now, Lord. Not now! It’s way too soon! Mom’s only 57.

We get the gruesome news from the neurologist. The heart attack at the apartment and the one in the hospital has caused 90% brain death. My Dad fights back the tears as best as he can. He needs my help to make a difficult decision. If mom takes a third heart attack does he agree no measures should be taken to save her by signing a do not resuscitate (DNR) order? I fight back my own tears to say, “Dad, you know mom was always so full of life. She wouldn’t want to live that way. Sign the DNR order.”

Mom has a third heart attack. No measures are taken to revive her. It’s time to say goodbye.

It all seems so surreal. It can’t be happening. I try to convince myself this is a dream I will wake up from.  I hold her hand in that ER room. The room feels as cold as the Arctic Circle. There should be no life, no warmth in her hand, but there is. I cry as I hold her hand. On her index finger is her wedding ring. It emits a sparkle unlike I have ever seen from it before. Love’s flow from mother to son is given.

A comforting peace enters my heart.  My Mom  squeezes my hand. The warmth in her hand soothes my aching heart. Tears come in a river of sorrow I held back to be strong for my stepfather.  They are liquid prayers to my Father.

Then, the light clasp of my mom’s fingers over my hand lets go. She is in Heaven where she is rejoicing. She is fully healed. In that last touch of my hand there is God’s promise I will see her again.

My mom no matter how hard she tried couldn’t forget the many times she was beaten up and emotionally abused by my manic depressant schizophrenic father. I believe her pain that she could not let go of killed her spirit and then her body. My Lord in his love for her took her home to Heaven to heal my mom there.

In the episode Touched by an Angel Petey is dying from cystic fibrosis. He writes down a to do list before he is to be called home to Heaven.

1) Learn to play the piano, 2)Find a home for his pet iguana, Fluffy, 3)Find someone to sing with Mom,4)Find someone to shovel the snow,5) Help mom get someone to finish the song 6)Introduce his sister, Celine, to the real Celine Dion,7) Die at home and 8) Erect a flagpole to let the angels know where he is.

Celine as she is in shock says as she meets the children back stage,  she will sing a special song for them. During the concert she sings the song Love Can Move Mountains to Celine and Petey.

At the end of the concert Petey becomes very sick .At the hospital,  his mother,Audrey, played by Wynonna Judd, comes to the realization that her son will soon die.

Celine, with Tess’ help, resolves to help make it possible for Petey to die at home.They visit the HMO in hopes of getting a medical waiver allowing this. When Celine and Tess are denied this, Tess becomes furious. She demands to see the manager. The manager is Celine’s father. He says he wants so much to allow his son to die at home, but he says he cannot make an exception to the rules.

Celine returns to his office in a gown and pearls, and sings Love Can Move Mountains.  She challenges her father to cut through the bureaucratic red tape, so Petey can die at home.

Petey is brought home by an ambulance. While he sleeps, Audrey discovers his list, among them the wish that Audrey would finish her song. Audrey is overcome with tears. She can’t get past the first verse. Monica reveals herself to Audrey. She comforts her. Monica asks Audrey to tell the whole world about Petey’s love with her song.

Audrey works all night to finish the song. She is a gifted musician, who writes commercial jingles, but this song will turn out to be unlike any she has ever written. As morning breaks Audrey wakes up. Fighting back the tears she says Petey can cross that item off his list.

Petey is taken outside to find many neighbours gathered along with a church choir  to perform Audrey’s finished song, “The 151st Psalm.”  The main chorus brings comfort to Audrey as she sings. God’s promise spoken through Monica is fulfilled. Audrey will receive comfort as she sings the song. Tears form and yet with them an abiding peace as she sings “For as long as I shall live I will testify to love!”

Petey tells Andrew, “It is finished.” The notebook with the to do list slips from his hand. The young boy dies as the crowd continues to sing his song.

Monica takes the pen that Petey used to make his list. She  crosses of the last item, #9  off Petey’s list: “Go to Heaven.”

I can feel my mother in Heaven above testifying of her Father’s love. Then, the call comes to ME and it comes to YOU as your Father says, Will you do that too?

Let us all this new year think of things above as we testify to our Father’s love.