My beloved friends:
There is a persistent call in my spirit to share this message that hurting lives and our world needs to hear.
I come home exhausted from seeing the surgeon Dr. El gaddi at nearby Temiskaming Shores Hospital. He is deferring to the expertise of mastocytosis specialist, Dr. Jason Lee, at St. Michael’s Hospital concerning having surgery to remove the lesion.
I feel what so many people who suffer the debilitating effects of mastocytosis experience. I am bloated all over from the mast cells(immune and systemic) releasing their contents into my body. I feel ugly as I look at my face in the mirror. Even my neck is swollen. All of this likely happens because of a thoughtless person who is wearing a scented product in a hospital that has a no fragrance policy.
Pain that is enough to make a grown man cry courses through my entire body. The pain in my legs is off the scale.
I look into the sadness and helplessness of my darling’s eyes. This is a journey that no living soul should have to endure.
My pain will reduce as the effects of the exposure wear off. I could decide to take it easy tonight but something deep within says someone out there needs a message of hope. Perhaps, as my fingers are swollen and each stroke of the keyboard is done with greater pain, something of what I say will reach another person who is in agonizing and unrelenting pain.
Let my life be a testament that love is the strongest weapon we have to deal with pain, pain in the body, mind and spirit. When you have people who love you, who stand by you, pray for you, believe in you, all the hate and darkness in this world cannot win.
Please pray for all people with mastocytosis and all who cannot see hope, all who are ready to give up. You have God’s power within your heart that you can call upon any time you need it. In a smile, prayer, that tender hand reaching out, that strong arm up that offers not a hand out but a hand up, you are not helpless. Darling, as long as you love me you are not without the power to help me and all who need you.
Please, today and every day, make it your mission in life to pour your life into the needs of others. You won’t have to look hard to see a need. It will be seen in every face that is etched with suffering, in every soul who cries out to you in their loneliness, in their own feeling of helplessness to change their circumstances, in every false judgement of their character that says they could do more if they just trued a little harder, if they just worked through their pain, if they just put on a brave face that is more accepted because they have driven that pain deep down within them, smiling as they give others the illusion that everything is okay when their world feels cold and at a comfortable distance from their pain.
Your love will go a long way, so hope can live again. True. In those with terminal illness you will not change the outcome, but what all of us can do is fill their journey while they are here with a lot more light, laughter and love. And in the words of composer Burt Bacharach “it’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.”