I respect every religion.
That’s an individual decision.
In this piece I share my story from a Christ-centered view.
I pray something I say in it will touch you.
In it I share my story to give God all the glory.
There is a love that will not let us go.
It comes from the crimson flow at Calvary;
Christ’s blood that was shed on the cross,
for sinners like you and me.
You can run from it.
You can deny this love exists.
You can choose to go through life without this love.
You can be stubborn.
You can refuse to submit yourself to that heart call that comes knocking.
You can say God and Christ are imaginary —
a fictional story of redemption written to affect your emotions.
God never forces His love on anyone.
It’s offered to those who want to receive it.
You can deny that the Savior’s voice is calling to you.
You can say that all of what the Bible says about God’s love is untrue.
God gives you the free will to say He’s a fantasy.
He leaves the choice with you to accept or reject Him.
I’m thankful for Christ’s love given to me,
that day I felt the call to begin healing from child abuse.
God began to mend my broken heart from the physical and emotional wounds of
my schizophrenic father, Jim.
My father told me I would always be a failure.
I had to learn to forgive him, so God’s love would live in my heart.
That journey took many years because I held on to my pain as a badge of honor.
I said to myself, “I earned this pain. I’m holding on to it so others will see the living hell I went through.”
It was all a lie from the stinking pit of hell.
It was killing me like a slow-acting poison.
I had to let go of all that hate, and let the love of the Father in.
I knelt at the altar.
I spoke out years of unending pain.
I cried out to God that I would be freed from the prison of loathing my father.
That was the day a new life in me began.
I said no to the darkness.
I embraced the Light–
The Word that took on human form–
The man who to injustice never conformed.
A fellow human being who was acquainted with my sorrow–
This Jesus who was abandoned by His followers in the garden at Gethsemane.
The Son of God who cried out on the cross,
“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani,”which means,
“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”
Bruised, battered, beaten.
Abused beyond what any human being could endure,
Jesus pleaded with His Father to forgive those responsible for His crucifixion.
Christ petitioned His Father not to have His wrath descend on those who conspired to murder Him.
He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
It was the first statement of Jesus as He was dying on the cross.
It’s a heart-breaking moment when we are reminded of how much He loved those who killed Him.
I will tell you more about my life after I accepted God’s love for me.
God gave me the gift of Karen.
We got married 14 years ago.
God gave me much more than I prayed for.
Karen sees far beyond this man that is me.
She reminds me of the gentle yet strong man I am.
I feel her love for me.
In a touch, a kiss, a hug, she shows me how much she cares for this sinner–
the man of God He is making of me.
I have my struggles with sin,
but these truths I know.
Calvary’s cross heals.
It brings new life to those who would ask to be forgiven of their sins.
It doesn’t mean your life will be easy.
In fact, it will most likely be tougher because when you accept the gift of God’s
love for you,
you will be insulted.
You may as Karen has been told, you are stupid for believing in a lie.
God’s love for you will never die.
It will never let you go.
God loves sinners like you and me.
He wants to give you a gift that will last for eternity.
O, amazing love that sets us free from sin’s captivity!
Grace for you;
grace for me–
God’s love that wants to dwell within.
Peace that gives you release from the awful way you feel;
healing from the accusatory voices that attack you–
people who say you’re a waste of space.
You’re not the lies you’ve been told.
You’re the apple of God’s affection.
That means He looks back at you with eyes of love.
The Psalmist David declared, “…I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
God loves you with an everlasting love.
No matter what you’ve done, you can be forgiven right here and now,
if you would just say, “Lord, forgive me for all my sin.”
And, yet, so many of us find these words tough to say.
I know, because it was like that for me that day I yelled at the darkness, “Go away!”
Part of me couldn’t believe this gift of love was being offered to me.
I felt so unworthy.
The voices of my abuse were attacking me.
“Kevin what makes you think an ugly person like you could receive a gift of God’s love?”
I tried to put up a wall.
I resisted Heaven’s healing rain,
but the need for the burden I bore to be healed was too great.
I gave in.
I said to God, “Today, I give you myself warts and all. I offer You this wounded child, this hurting man
that is me. I come just as I am letting go of all my pride, that the peace that passes all human understanding would in me abide.”
I felt such a tremendous weight lifted from me,
that cold day in March 1982 when I poured out 19 years of heartache at God’s mercy-seat.
I felt a peace unlike I had ever known when God started healing my broken heart
that was becoming hard as stone.
The altar counselor listened.
I can never thank him enough for telling me about how I could live a better way.
That glorious day the fog lifted!
I felt how much God loves this sinner that is me.
I still stumble.
I fall along life’s way.
I know when this happens I don’t have to stay stuck there.
I can pour out my heart to God.
I am cleansed from my sin.
Sin’s stain need not leave its mark on me.
I know I’m a child of God eternally.
The Lord leads me from darkness to light.
He reminds me of His love that’s out of sight!
I pray you will not reject the gift of God’s love for you.
You will not pass it by.
You will accept His love for you that never dies.
Never let it go.
Never let it go.
God’s love for you isn’t a fantasy.
It’s the real deal.
I will testify to love today;
a Father’s love that never goes away;
a Father’s love that never goes away.
Dr. Kevin James Osborne M.A., M.Div., Psy.D.. D.A.B.T.E, C.M.H.C. is Dean of Psychology and President of Student Affairs at St. James the Elder University. Karen Osborne B.A., D.Sc. in Psychology (honoris causa) C.M.H.C. is the Registrar of St. James the Elder University.