Were you there…?

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I have listened to many of the hymns sung by Johnny Cash. This black-and-white rendition is more somber and reflective than the one in color. It asks a question that makes me think a lot about the price that was paid for my salvation and yours. I was particularly moved by Anita Carter’s voice. She sings each word softly. This line rings in my heart. “Sometimes it causes me to tremble.” When I think of how God rescued me from the darkness that was causing me to erode inside, it still causes me to tremble, tremble. When I was 19 I laid the damage of physical and emotional abuse from my schizophrenic father, Jim, at the cross. I felt the battle within for my soul.

God won that day, evil lost.

Our Father spoke to my spirit that He wanted me to stop sitting on the fence of a half-committed faith. He wanted all, not just a part of me.

I reflect upon the witness of a Salvation Army mercy-seat (altar) counselor and a Salvation Army officer (minister).

I’m so deeply thankful for that mercy-seat (altar) counselor at The Salvation Army North York Temple listened as I cried. My body shook. The crushing weight I had been carrying in my soul was lifted.

I will never forget that day in March, 1982, at a service at The Salvation Army North York Temple in Toronto. I had come there at the recommendation of Major Jessie Mayo. I was working as a front desk counselor at The Salvation Army Bunton Lodge. This is a residential house for provincial offenders. Major Mayo was its part-time bookkeeper. She was a retired officer. We had many talks together about life and faith. She glowed even on difficult days with this inner light that intrigued me. The warmth of her personality and sense of humor drew me to her. I opened up more to her as I trusted her with what I shared.

One of those discussions stands out. She told me God had a call upon my life. He was going to use the abuse I suffered for His glory. Honestly, I didn’t see that at the time. The realization of that truth took a long time to grow. The Lord used Major Jessie Mayo to continue breaking down the walls of safety I had built. For God to use me they had to crumble.

God used Major Mayo’s open smile to encourage me to trust people again. Over time she encouraged me to share my testimony with others. She expressed it was a powerful story God was going to use to touch the lives of other wounded people.

Please take time to reflect upon what God has said to you after you have listened to Were you there?, and read my testimony.

What is your response?

God is here. Jesus is too. They are only a thought – a prayer away.

Dr. Kevin Osborne is a Vice-President for Student Affairs for St. James the Elder University. Dr. Osborne is a doctor of theology candidate through SJTEU. He is s therapist, writer, poet, and singer. He helps people in their inner healing journey. Dr. Osborne lives in Timmins, northern Ontario, Canada, with his wife, Karen. She is the Registrar for SJTEU. Karen has a B.A. in Clinical Christian Counseling from St. James the Elder University. Karen is a writer, editor, and missionary of the heart.